Q
Are you a feminist?
Anonymous
A

I can’t tell if this is a joke or not or if you are confused by what I meant by “radfem”, but radfem means radical feminist. So yes.


Q
I'm firmly anti-kink but recently me and my boyfriend have been roleplaying. When I got the flu earlier this week he called me princess and waited on me hand and foot all day as my "servant boy". We both really enjoyed it, but is this kink? Could it be harmful or perpetuating anything negative? I want to be aware how my actions could offend or effect people. Thank you.
Anonymous
A

Why does he need to be your “servant” to do nice things for you when you’re sick?
My advice would be to be extremely careful. I am very apprehensive. Why do you feel a need to have a power imbalance in your relationship? Why does doing nice things for you = servant?


Q
I'm going to kill myself. Because I am a male. I hope you are happy.
Anonymous
A

You know, something tells me this isn’t true and that this is some sort of manipulation. People who want to die usually have an amalgamation of underlying issues that lead them to want to choose death. Or they need things to dramatically change. Do women have institutional power over you? What is it that you are needing to change, because a stranger on the internet fighting for her rights probably isn’t it.
Look bud, go get a blanket, go get a cup of tea, go sit by a window and watch some birds and remember that there’s a big ol shiny world out there that caters to your privilege and calm the fuck down and never send me this manipulative shit ever again.


Q
I have a question that doesn't really relate to kinks but does relate to sex so i thought i'd ask you! My boyfriend really wants me to give him head, but i hate giving head. We've had sex and i've given him head for like, a minute, but never long enough for him to orgasm. He doesn't pressure me to do anything but i feel like it makes him sad that i don't give head. should i get over it and give him head to make him happy or should he get over it and understand that i don't like doing it? thanks!
Anonymous
A

He should absolutely get over it. If you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to do it. I understand how you could feel like you need to get over it and just do it, but your needs and autonomy are really important and when you say no that needs to be respected. It is really good to hear that he doesn’t pressure you, and I hope that stays the same. 

I hope everything works out okay~


draumstafir:

follow for more pastel male erasure and soft kink shaming

(via wofexx-on-fire)


Q
since kinksters like to argue that 'vanilla' people dont' do anything but like, missionary man on top heteronormative sex, can we have a week for people to submit cute things like that anon with the non-gross roleplay examples, I'd love to show them all the fun and actually not terribly abusive alternatives to what they do.
Anonymous
A

OH YES I LOVE THIS IDEA SO VERY MUCH.

(Also submitting those types of things to me are always always welcome but it might be super nice to have one big compilation of them)


Q
I'm super happy you posted the ask from the person about spicing up your sex life without abuse bc those scenarios sound adorable and I also have little things like that I'd love to do with a partner and I'm super glad to see that there are cute ways to have fun instead of harmful abusive ones. (also bc I'm always scared to admit I like the idea of roleplay lest people think I'm a kinkster even tho what I want to play doesn't involve power dynamics or abuse just cuteness.)
A

I’m glad you liked it, and I’m glad that person sent it in!

<3


Being a straight poly kinkster will never make you queer or LGBT+ I don’t give a fuck how special or oppressed you WANT to feel. Our struggle is our own and you aren’t invited.


Q
Is it wrong for me to be actually kind of pissed off that I'm seeing so many people claiming that "polyamory" should be lumped under the umbrella of LGBTQA+?
Anonymous
A

No, it’s not wrong, because it is not a sexuality or denoting someone’s trans status, which is what the lgbtqia+ acronym is FOR.

(It makes me mad, too, anon.)


princess-bilight-sparkle:

ambiguterus:

princess-bilight-sparkle:

Here’s something for kinksters to think about: What’s so empowering about a sub ~really being the one in control~ because they can safeword out? Saying no and stopping sex at any point is everyone’s inherent right. If you’re saying it’s kink or submission that gives you that power, you’re saying it’s a privilege reserved for kinksters instead of a basic human right.

Most of the time what goes in in the play is directed by what the sub likes as well.  BDSM relationships actually tend to be more egalitarian than vanilla relationships because there is more communication, and in particular, more discussion of what is and isn’t okay.

3/4 of your community acronym is a list of reasons why a B D S M relationship could never be egalitarian, with the D and S even serving double purposes there. There is no amount of talking that can right a fundamentally abusive relationship.

"Most of the time"